Cow Express Times

Death by Arrows

Reported by Cow Bu

A cow had been found lying motionless on the carpet floor of a 3x6 feet cubicle yesterday afternoon.

A police report from an unnamed company in the western part of Singapore logged at 2pm stated that a female cow, around the age of 23, had collapsed at around 1.50pm. Civil Defence was notified immediately and an ambulance and a crane was despatched.

Paramedics failed to revive the cow and she was pronounced dead at 2.30pm. An autopsy carried out by the pathologist had come to a conclusion that it was a murder case. The cause of death had been identified as Multiple Injuries from Arrows.

Evidence at the crime scene depicts that the cow had been working hardly at her terminal. Blood-stained statement printouts that were strewn all over the cubicle and the PC which was running some financial reports were taken back to the police headquarters for further analysis.

A pack of wolves at the scene had claimed that they saw some arrows flying since early morning but could not locate the source of the arrows.

Apparently, the victim had just returned from a mass birthday celebration at a isolated island known to be a tourist hotspot. Rangers at the island confirmed the appearance of the cow having a barbeque at an unapproved area with a group of humans.

Another witness to the incident reveal that the victim had plans to take annual leave this coming Friday for a long overdued rest and a little birthday present to herself. Her birthday is on the following Monday.

Initial investigations carried out at scene disclosed that one of the arrows was coated with a layer of toxic called Staff Meeting. The poison had been preset to pump up the blood circulation of the victim on the 14th Oct, which is the day that the victim had plans to go on leave.

The police had also found a bomb hidden in the cubicle which is set to blast at the last minute.

No suspects had been arrested at the moment and the police are still carrying out their investigation. - CE